Las thu, I was chatting abt tis topic v my fren in library... I tell my fren tat I felt veli stress n I would jump down if I completely crazy...
I found tat I dont hv any reason 4 me 2 live in tis sad world...
Bt, I dun hv the courage 2 do so...
Bcoz I scare height n pain...
I reli think tat I nid 2 consult psychologist sooner...
coz I think I oso gt other problem such as slightly depression n autism...
Once I cant do a thg, I would hv tis tot again...
I gt think of other method such as stab myself, eat medicine n others...
Jz I din do it becoz I reli scare...
I dun wan 2 leave n hurt my grandma who veli love me...
n my 2 cute dogs...
Yesterday, tis fren tell me tat 1 of his secondary school fren commit suicide 2 days ago...
Tis news reli shock me coz he jump down frm high place...
Which is same v wat I say on above...
The problem tat he commit suicide is he cant stand the pressure...
My fren tell me tat he is a clever student...
Reli feel pity 4 him...
Although I dun knw tis guy, bt I wish he can rest in peace...
I hop tat I wil nt follow wat tis guy did...
Jz nw I found tat tis news in Sin Chew newspaper...
If any1 wan 2 knw more abt tis case, go n read tis newspaper la...
Since I cum UTAR, I already change to another person...
I had becum unhapi, dun like 2 talk o join ppl, veli like 2 hide myself...
The most time I spend is stay in library...
Mostly if I dun hv anythg 2 do, I wil sty til 9pm on weekdays n 5pm on weekend...
Bt I nt study, instead slipping, ply fb n read newspaper onli...
I felt reli comfortable n relax in here, the space is big n I can walk here n thr...
I cant blame my parents completely bcoz is me who chose 2 cum here...
Each time I tell tat I cant cope it n I wan 2 quit...
He jz scold me...
The reason is tat he wan the degree cert...
If u so wan the degree cert, y dun u jz go get it urself...
U tot tis course reli easy ah...
Nw I in yr 2 already, bt I stil dun knw wat I learn in foundation n yr 1...
2day, I had screw up my ICF presentation...
n I felt sad n sry 2 my groupmate...
I jz knw tat I m a troublemaker...
owaz make a lot of problem 2 my fren...
Another reason tat I feel sad is...
Tis week cant go bck humtown bcoz gt 2 more asignmnt nid 2 rush...
I dun knw hw 2 do at all...
Nt tat I din try at all...
Bt jz I reli cant do nt matter hw hard i try...
I m destined 2 b a useless ppl...
dun do dat
ReplyDeletetrust me my pal
thx u...
ReplyDeleteu r the most care abt me...
feel touch...
dun worry...
i hvnt met the worst condition yet...
so i wont do it...
as a say above...
i dun hv the courage 2 do so...
i scare pain...
i oso dun wan hurt the ppl tat love me...
myb i wil consult psychologist 1st...
c hw seriously I mentally sick...
Come on, your parent want u get a degree cert because they don't want you being isolated in the society, they want to watch your sucess, they paid for your fee, your life spend, and even your Asus (should be).
ReplyDelete1st, you don't have ANY mentally sick. The problem is you always think yourself mentally sick, and you just keep fed up and giving up yourself by giving this stupid reason.
You not stupid, you not useless, you not troublemaker. You just want keep yourself yourself from others. You a guy, although you got long hair. You got balls, how would you expect your life in the next 30 years? yea, you only 19. It's because YOU ONLY 19, what you can do? instead focus on your studies? Part-time work? You need to give a life to your kids, wife and even your parent when u grow up, how many times you think your parent still can keep give you pocketmoney, or buy you another Asus?
Think back yourself, you in year 2, and you 19 already, no longer kid anymore. Stand up, don't be in dark, and fear. Speak up! Don't always think you cannot, be more confident to yourself, you not that bad either. Look back your Math 2 result. Certainly very good, I really mean it, I not meant for any comparison.
Just think back yourself, instead writing this "suicide" stupid blog post, and fianlly, remember that: You a guy, you must be responsible for everything you do, don't be the weak, overcome your weakness.